November 2008 Archives

When we start doing stupid things, we create broad narrative explanations for ourselves. These happen far more often as we get older, of course, and the options seem more limited. So when we sell things that don't work, or backstab at the office, or generally lose touch with our ideals and best-selves, we find a way to survive the terror or self-knowledge by weaving good yarns.

If I didn't do it, someone else would, so, hey, don't look at me.

This is what the people want, so, hey, don't look at me.

Progress is progress, so, hey, don't look at me.

Well, they're telling me to do it, so, hey, don't look at me.

Look, sometimes, you have to do crap to get by, I understand. But don't make crap your new business idea, OK?

So I'm sure self-deception is the explanation for the legal education website whocanisue.com, right? I mean, surely, over a couple scotches, the idiots who put this horror into the world would cry out that they, too, hate their lives and what they're doing with them. Right? They don't actually think that Who Can I Sue is a question that people SHOULD BE ASKING, DO THEY?

The Democratic Party needs to stop supporting trial lawyers. Because we've reached a new low when the power of the internet is harnessed for desperation schemes supported by a group of lawyers whose moral compass has gone haywire up the ass of the north pole.

This is from my great friend and long-time collaborator Sebastian. If he's judged as being in the top five entries in the doritos make-our-commercial-for-free you user-generated-content-types, he'll go to the Super Bowl, eat fancy food, and win $25K. This seems entirely possible to me.

Then they choose one spot from those five to actually air.  And if USA Today ranks their spot as the spot of the Super Bowl, they win $1M. Could this air? Could it beat GoDaddy? I hope so!

Nice work, dudes.

This detail is from a photo taken by Miguel Medina. It's a group of French citizens watching American election returns in a suburb of Paris. And wow, it just nails that bittersweet feeling of being French and realizing that the U.S. has just skyrocketed to a new plane of forward-looking leadership, don't it? Look how confused they are! And sad! And...French! How can this be the United States?

And it just makes me think of that brilliant moment in Jerry Maguire in the hallway outside the locker room after Rod Tidwell's (Cuba Gooding) game-winning catch against Dallas. The sports press swarms onto Tidwell as he exits the locker room - this is a guy who was hated by the press, who acted like a jerk all the time, and finally, he's given a chance to redeem himself in their eyes. He breaks down (tears = good press) and thanks everyone but Jerry. Finally remembering his agent, he bursts through the gaggle of reporters to man-hug him and shout his praises to all who can hear.

Nearby, Dallas QB Troy Aikman and his agent, Jay Mohr, watch this lovefest unfold. Aikman wistfully pines, "How come we don't ever do that?" and Mohr pathetically tries to hug him. Aikman shoos him off.

That picture is like Aikman - shaking your head, looking at the guy you thought you knew, and realizing that actually, you want what he has.

Even with so much so bad, that power of our democracy really does inspire hope in me. I'm really, really glad we got the right guy in the office.

Time Inc has asked employees of its news departments at People, Sports Illustrated, Time, and other magazines to volunteer for layoff packages. And if they don't? According to the Times article:

In memorandums to the magazine staffs, managers made it clear that if the number of volunteers was not sufficient by the end of this month, layoffs would follow.

What's the point? Why not lay off who you're going to lay off, rather than create the toxic culture that results by asking your employees to self-select their own end...or else? Lots of companies have voluntary severance, but not with the freaking ax about to drop otherwise! Can you imagine the speculation? It's like vote-counting, looking around, adding to see if enough people have taken the bait. I can just hear the cutthroat conversations, dripping with complex subtexts:

Yeah, Rachel, you know what - you should go! You'll be happier getting out of here, don't you think? I do. Living with your parents might be a great opportunity to get to know them all over again, you know?

Ironically, those who leave with some kind of lurking semi-state of a clear conscience (perhaps it's just the knowledge of having avoiding being trapped in lamehood) may have a happier road ahead.

Stay and you're like the Milford subjects or the Stanford student guards, assured that what you're doing - in helping your peers choose to go - is what the authority wants. Well, that's gotta feel terrific! Phew, I made it! Now, let's go take some great photographs!

Ugh. Bad all around. The picture is Milgram's most famous set-up, from wikipedia.

Bill Ayers drops off the charts because he was never the real issue.

This is an amazing quote from Newsweek's insider profile on the campaigns. Lots of other extraordinary insider stuff there, too - definitely worth a catharsis read. But this (purportedly) recorded snippet really rocks, in which Obama is speaking privately about debates during the primary season:

I don't consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, 'You know, this is a stupid question, but let me ... answer it.' So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I f---ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'.

I went to Plymouth, PA to knock on doors for Obama on Saturday. Aside from the unbelievable level of volunteerism supporting Obama - this call from Jon Carson talks about one million knocks on Sunday in Pennsylvania alone - it was more sobering than uplifting.

Why does our electorate vote in such low numbers? Perhaps because to some, it really is abstract. Door after door brought such a range of response - and these were targeted knocks, by the way. One guy said "Oh yeah, we're voting for Obama. We're middle class, we're poor!". But streets were empty, the factory was shuttered, and the town seemed quiet, as if there was nothing left to say or do, except wait without expectation. And living without hope is just a way of waiting to die.

There were lots of dogs and halloween decorations - evidence of families, community, people - but at the same time, the weight of this crushing and crashing economy felt massive. As did the weight of our own personal narratives. One guy that I spoke with was living in a flea-infested shack at the end of a street. He'd been paying child support for the last eight years, his house was literally falling apart, and he just seemed lost. He said to me this is all bullshit. All politicians make your life worse.

And I knew for him, he was probably right. He wasn't going to vote. Another couple, I knocked on the door, and they were elderly. She was taking care of him. He was in his underwear, watching TV. She barely looked at me, just said, we're not registered.

At this level of life struggle, with things this immediately painful, perhaps presidential electoral politics really is too abstract. Just check on the website? No way. Not even close.

And you have to wonder - can five million new green jobs get some help to Plymouth? In the end, we all have to write our own stories, but when everything seems stacked against you, nothing seems like the way home. Let's hope Obama's election really does shift the eyeline of towns like Plymouth to a more promising future.